Before I’m 24: Life Goals and Thoughts
Hey Internet! Remember that time I said I’d come up with some life goals of stuff I’d like to get done in the year before I turn 24? Well, it turns out I’m finally getting around to that now! I’ve put some serious thought into this, which you can tell based on the fact that it has been over two months since my birthday.
Last year I completed 4/5 goals I had set for myself. I got into and attended University College Dublin, I went on spontaneously planned (it’s a THING, shut up) trips to Montreal, Bruges, Madrid, and Belfast, I became the proud owner of two TARDISes (TARDI?) one a cookie jar, the other a mug, and I crossed off an item from my To Do List when I touched the ocean (it was consensual).
Anyway, here are the main things I’ve come up with for this year.
Before I’m 24: Life Goals
1. Get a Job
It’s probably no surprise that this is the first thing on my list. As much as I love and adore my parents, I would like a job so that I can continue to not live with them for the rest of my natural born life. Besides that, I enjoy the field I am studying to become a part of and I’m sort of excited to have a job that will actually have something to do with my ‘career’.
This is how every Reference Desk Employee would love to react when you ask a question like “Where can I find *insert book title here*” when you’re standing next to the catalogue.
2. Finish My Novel
This is where it allllllllll started. 1 Month, a 50,000 word goal and a dream.
I’ve always enjoyed reading and writing but this past November I started a novel that I was having a lot of fun with until school reminded my of my obligations and sapped me of all creativity. I’ve started working on it again and my aim is to have it finished by next year (editing and all). Then I’ll start sending it out and wait for the rejection letters to come pouring in until I either:
A) get so irritated with the rejection letters that I publish it myself, have a huge success and eventually help cast some unknown actress to play me in the movie of my life
B) become so inspired by the rejection that I write a new novel that is far better than the first and gets published
C) try again
D) give up and take comfort in the fact that I tried.
3. Make Stuff From My Pinterest
Yeeeeees, Pinterest is the reason I don’t have a life…*looks about shiftily*
Seriously. I have pins upon pins of recipes and DIYs but no proper oven to make the food and no proper living arrangement to make the DIYs. I can’t make DIY stuff in res, I could but I’d rather do it in my own home; whether that’s an apartment or a condo or a house. Sure, SOME of the things I’ve pinned aren’t super useful but when you need a cupcake that looks like a Muppet or a picnic table with a drink cooler built into it, WHERE ELSE CAN YOU TURN?!
4. Have More Mini-Days
This is NOT what I mean at all!
Ok, so what I mean by a mini-day is this: Doing something you don’t normally do. I know that sounds pretty simple, but I find it ridiculously easy to do something unique. It doesn’t even have to be wildly unique. It could be as simple as going somewhere you haven’t been to for lunch. It could be bigger too, like having a picnic or going horseback riding. Just something to remind yourself that there’s lots of things to be done.
It’s a short list, but that’s all I want really. There’s smaller stuff too but those four are the biggies. Don’t get me wrong, item number 2 from last year’s list would be nice but it’s not really a goal. Last year’s list was stuff I hoped would happen. This year’s list is about goals, stuff I want to do for myself. It’s not that I don’t have things to hope for, it’s more that this year I’m a bit more prepared to take matters into my own hands.
Skip the Cinema, Baseball Brawls and Murder are Better!
Hey Internet!
I know I said that I was going to post my list of things I’d like to happen before I turn 24, but that’s going to have to wait until I can put some more thought into it. A month is just not enough thinking time. (Well, more like 2 weeks because half of last month was spent running around Europe).
Now, I know a lot of you are excited to see The Hunger Games in cinema and GOOD because it look fabulous, but I would like to offer you another option. If you’re thinking about watching a movie, why not stay in your home, grab yourself some snacks that won’t cost you the same amount it would have cost you to feed a starving child in Africa for two weeks and watch an old classic?
Which classic? The timeless classic: Arsenic and Old Lace!
5 Reasons You Should Watch Arsenic and Old Lace
1. It starts with a Baseball Brawl
Look at that vicious fight that doesn't even slightly look like two girls having a slap fight at all.
Yep. You read that right. Baseball Brawl. Forget your soccer riots, forget your hockey fights, it’s all about the baseball brawl. You may be wondering “Does the brawl have anything to do with the rest of the movie?”. Good questions. Allow me to ignore it and tell about one of the best characters in the entire movie.
2. Theodore Roosevelt is in it.
Again, your eyes are not playing tricks on you. Yep, Teddy Roosevelt is in it. You might be thinking that’s impossible and you’re right. It’s actually a character who thinks he’s Teddy Roosevelt, but let me ask you this. Who DOESN’T want to live with someone who thinks they’re a great historical figure?
See, even HE can't believe you wouldn't want to live together. He's PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES....sort of.
3. The Sparkling Dialogue
This movie has all the best bits of vaudeville smushed up into just over two hours of brilliance. If the writers of today had any sense, they would study this movie until they knew every line by heart and knew why it worked and which were funniest and why. In fact, I think Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy an Ben Stiller should watch this movie just so they have some semblance of an idea of how below the bar of comedy gold they have fallen. Hell, they should watch some of their own stuff afterwards just to compare and then hang their heads in shame.
I won’t ruin the fun by giving you quotations from the dialogue, it’s much better if you can hear it in context for the first time. Suffice it to say, it’s brilliant.
4. The cast is full of Classics in its own right!
We’re talking about a movie with Cary Grant (enough said) , Peter Lorre (whom EVERY bug eyed, weasily sounding horror character is based off of. EVERY Igor ever is based on that man), Edward Everett Horton (who was in EVERY comedy from the 30′s-70′s and who you might remember from The Red Skelton Show or as the voice of Fractured Fairy Tales from Rocky and Bullwinkle) and a lot of other really talented people you probably wouldn’t know for anything other than this movie.
Here they all are. And wherever they are now, I hope they're all proud.
5. It’s a movie everyone can enjoy, it’s clever and it’s different.
I’ve always been a big fan of comedy, I like a variety of different styles, from George Carlin’s 7 words you cant’ say to Abbot and Costello to Monty Python, Kids in the Hall and the fantastic piece of television gold that is Community. Still, as much as I love comedy it can be a bit overwhelming when the jokes are just the same old crude stuff that’s supposed to pass for humour. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the occasional crude thing but when did that become the mainstream?
I mean, ooooh, you made another movie full of sex, drug and poop jokes. Yeah, because that never gets old.
What’s great about Arsenic and old lace is that it’s funny without being the same lame boring old thing we’re used to seeing. It focuses on dramatic irony, wit, and plain old ridiculousness. This is a movie you and your grandparents can actually agree is awesome. Sure it’s not as visually pretty as some, but if you’re watching movies simply because they’re pretty then we should probably just sit you in front of a lava lamp and call it a day.
I guess what I’m saying is that if you want to watch Cary Grant frantically try to understand why his sweet, innocent little aunts are going around murdering people, then you should watch this flick. I’m also saying that modern Hollywood has let me down many a time, but then again I’m always saying that one way or another.
Frolics in Madrid, Belfast and Future Plans
Hiya Internets!
As you may recall from my previous posts, I have a pretty bad case of the ‘want-to-see-everything-in-the-world’s. I love travelling, especially now since I’m in Europe and everything is a hop, skip and jump away. I was able to indulge this love of wandering this month and it was wicked fun!
My university is kind enough to give us two consecutive weeks away from our studies in March and naturally, I decided to spend this time doing nothing but wandering around the world. I spent four days in Madrid (left on the fifth), came back to Dublin for a three day rest and then it was off to Belfast for four days.
The Madrid trip was something the Spanish Society put together and I tagged along because they’re awesome and also because I can’t speak more than five words of Spanish. Aside from the lovely company of the Spanish Society kids, the highlights of the trip were was follows:
1. Not having to pay for drinks because I’m a girl and in Spain that means free alcohol
This is at Kapital and all these lovely Spanish Society kids are just so happy to be there!
2. Rowing around in boats in the park.
I know you can't SEE the boat, but we're in one. Use your imagination
3. The Royal Palace
I could easily live here
4. The Museum the name I forget but it had lost of Salvadori Dali!
5. The Zoo/Aquarium! (Because I am a 3 year old inside who loves animals)
LOOK AT THE PANDAS!
Next trip on my list was Belfast. One of the things I loved about going to Belfast was that it meant I didn’t have to fly. I’m not afraid of flying but it tends to upset my tummy and I find the whole process too long and uncomfortable. We went to Belfast via train and I love trains. They’re just a fantastic way to travel and I wish we had more of them (and that they were less expensive) in Canada.
I went with my lovely Belgian friend whom I shall keep anonymous for internet safety reasons. Now, I love Dublin, but I think I like Belfast even more. I don’t know what it is about Belfast…but there’s something about it I love. There were numerous highlights of the trip but the top five were as follows:
1. The Giant’s Causeway.
Just beautiful and awesome!
2. The Carrick-a-Rede bridge
I, unlike many of our fellow travelers, had no fear of the bridge.
3. The views up and around the glens and beyond.
Everything was so beautiful it was like something out of a novel
4. Queen’s Botanical Gardens
You have no idea how many flowers were inside that greenhouse, it was like walking into a fairy tale
See? Flowers everywhere! And this wasn't even half of what was inside! It smelled amazing.
5. The Tour of Belfast City Hall
The tour was free, interesting and the building was beautiful
All in all, it was a pretty productive couple of weeks. Though, by the end of it, I was glad to get back to Dublin and get back into the normal routine. The thing that’s lovely about vacation is that I’m always excited to go, excited to be there and excited to come home. Though I was happy to be back in Dublin, that didn’t stop me from making more plans to get away from it all.
I’ve got a trip planned for Amsterdam this May (already bought and paid for) and I hope to visit a friend in Paris this July and another friend in London at some point this summer. We’ll have to see how my budget pans out as I’ll be returning to Canada this coming September. It’s hard to believe I’ve already been in Dublin for 8 months! Just 4 more…where does the time go?!
I Tried, I Failed, I Win.
Hola Internets!
So, as you may recall last time we chatted I was trying to accomplish 23 tasks given to me by the sadists I call my friends and family before my 23rd Birthday. Here’s what the list ended up looking like:
23 Tasks Before My 23rd Birthday
- Memorize how to say “Happy Birthday” in 23 languages.
Write at least one song.Fit 23 Marshmallows into my ‘gob’- Try to pick up a guy while speaking Gaelic
Practice writing backwardsEat 23 things that start with ‘K’- Try 23 food items I’ve never had before
- Learn at least one card trick.
Eat a whole pie in one sittingVisit 23 places I’ve never been before.- Sing Karaoke ‘preferably Bowie’ and yell “I love you Bowie” afterward
- Take a bus I’ve never taken and go on an adventure.
- Cook two meals I have never cooked and don’t really know how to cook.
- Record a YouTube video for my friend Erin.
- Make a “How to British” YouTube video.
- Make 24 cookies, eat one, give the rest away.
- Find a fez
Write a story in 23 words- Write 23 Haikus
Get all schoolwork done during this weekClean/re-organize my roomCheck out prices on combinesGive myself a facial
As you can see, I failed to complete all my missions. In future I should probably give myself more than a week to complete this sort of insane challenge. However, even though I failed, I feel like I win. The point of doing something like this is to try to do something and not let yourself get stuck in the same old complacent state of being that so many of us get stuck in. Does that sound like something losers say to themselves to make themselves feel better? Yeah it does, but it’s true so suck it.
Of the few tasks I managed to get done, one of the most I had fun with was writing a song in one day. Since my Grampa’s birthday is three days after mine, I thought I’d write a song for him. It’s not great but I’m not a songwriter and I had one day, so I’m still proud of it. I’d put it up here but then I’d have to put it on YouTube or make it a Podcast just so I could put a link here to it, but that’s too much work and I’d rather edit and work on it more than put up a rough draft version of it, so as consolation here’s a picture of me and my Grampa.
This is me and my Grampa wayyyyyyy back when my parents living room was still in the 70's and our TV had push buttons.
Next Post: Adventures in Madrid and Things I want to Accomplish Before I’m 24
The 23 Task Challenge!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello internets!
As some of you may know, this coming Friday is an important day to me. Why? Because on March 2nd, 2012 at approximately 11:45am, I will turn 23. Last year, I made a list of stuff I wanted to happen before I turned 23.
I’m proud to say that I’ve accomplished everything on it! Well…except #2. I have yet to date Stephen Fry or Batman or any equivalent.
Anywhozzile. I thought that this year I would try to accomplish 23 things before my 23rd birthday/on the day itself. To make the challenge more interesting, I thought I would chose 23 things from suggestions of the wonderful people I know aaaaaaaaand this is where the plan sort of gets complicated. Apparently the wonderful people I know have a bit of a sadistic streak…which is why I love them, but still.
So’s here the list as suggested by Facebook friends, family and writing companions.
23 Tasks Before My 23rd Birthday
- Memorize how to say “Happy Birthday” in 23 languages.
- Write at least one song.
- Fit 23 Marshmallows into my ‘gob’
- Try to pick up a guy while speaking Gaelic
- Practice writing backwards
- Eat 23 things that start with ‘K’
- Try 23 food items I’ve never had before
- Learn at least one card trick.
- Eat a whole pie in one sitting
- Visit 23 places I’ve never been before.
- Sing Karaoke ‘preferably Bowie’ and yell “I love you Bowie” afterward
- Take a bus I’ve never taken and go on an adventure.
- Cook two meals I have never cooked and don’t really know how to cook.
- Record a YouTube video for my friend Erin.
- Make a “How to British” YouTube video.
- Make 24 cookies, eat one, give the rest away.
- Find a fez
- Write a story in 23 words
- Write 23 Haikus
- Get all schoolwork done during this week
- Clean/re-organize my room
- Check out prices on combines
- Give myself a facial
I started working on completing these yesterday and will update the blog with proof of the completed challenges. Here are the list number’s I’ve accomplished so far:
#3: Fit 23 Marshmallows into my ‘gob’
Now, I wanted to do this with mini-marshmallows but I couldn’t find any. So I used tesco brand marshmallows. Turns out, 23 is a large number of marshmallows to fit into one’s mouth. However, the challenge NEVER specified that it had to be all at once. I did it in two goes, the first attempt I help 11, the second 13, which is good because I accidentally swallowed one whole while attempting this and that brings my total to 23.
Can you see the pain in my eyes?
I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANOTHER MARSHMALLOW!
#9: Eat a Whole Pie in One Sitting
Here is the pie in question.
By the end of this challenge, I’m going to have diabetes.
Here it is two hours later.
It was one sitting, but it took 2 hours and I didn’t eat anything else and probably won’t eat anything else all day. (I did this, this morning)
#18: Write a story in 23 words.
Hemingway did it in 6 words, I’m no Hemingway but here is what I came up with:
“They wrote a film about him, you know. He would have hated that…having someone pretend to be him, when he killed for originality.”
Well, that’s 3 of the 23 completed. I have 20 more and 6 days to do them in.
Let’s do this.
80′s and 90′s Kids Stuff: It Made Us Who We Are!…oh GOD!
Hey Internet Friends!
Initially today’s blog post was going to be all about the New Year and how it’s going so far but then I thought to myself “Screw that noise, let’s talk about our childhood movies/tv shows!” Then I started worrying because I clearly seem to believe that I should refer to myself in the plural form, which means I’m either royalty or legally insane but let’s worry about this another time.
Do you remember the 80′s? I sure as hell don’t but to be fair, I was a fetus for most of ’88 and once I was born I was too easily distracted/entertained/unable to comprehend my surroundings to remember much. Not at all like I am now….ok, shut up, I’ve progressed! What I do remember about the 80′s mostly comes from the 90′s. Partly because Canada didn’t get the 80′s until the 90′s and partly because as a kid, I watched a lot of 80′s movies. In fact, my childhood can be summed up in a handful of 90′s television shows and 80′s movies. All of which are discussed below! Lucky you!
Kricket’s List of Top 5 Childhood Memories Movies/Shows
#1. Labyrinth!
I have this poster back in Canada, there's a typo in mine that (as an English major) drives me up a tree.
Now, of all the movies/shows on this list, Labyrinth is probably one of the most important, and not because of Bowie’s ‘crystal balls’ or anything like that, you perv. Labyrinth is older than I am by three years and it’s the movie equivalent of an older sibling: It’s weird, slightly embarrassing at times, but you can’t help but love it because it taught and continues to teach you a hell of a lot about life and the twisted workings of adults.
This movie was a gigantic part of my life as a kid and still is in a lot of ways.
It was the movie my best friend at the time and myself watched over and over, if we went without watching it after a while we started getting jittery, like crack addicts. It more than likely helped shape my personality (humourous, a little dark and very twisted) and it caused my first crush as a girl: David Bowie…..despite the fact that his hair in the movie makes him look like a Polish Chicken…or maybe because of it.
Explains why there's always chickens in the Goblin Castle. HE IS THEIR KING!
One thing is for sure, my childhood crush was in no way inspired by the infamous ‘pants’…although as I grow older that might have caused part of my unrealistic expectations in men problem.
I mean, come on, it's practically the same size as Hoggle! No WONDER Hoggle fears him!
*sigh* How’s a girl supposed to have grounded dreams with a basis for comparison like THAT? Erm, anyway, NEXT!
2. The Peanut Butter Solution
The Poster tells you NOTHING of what lies inside
Ok, now, the Peanut Butter Solution is likely the most screwed up ‘kids’ movie I’ve ever seen. It too hails from the ’80s. To be honest with you, this one gets on the list for remaining in my head for so damned long and not because it impacted my life in any real way.
The long and short of the plot is that this kid Micheal (that’s too long to type so Ima call him Mike) is feeling a bit lonely, blah blah blah, friend Connie (oddly enough a guy) dares him to go into the shell of a burned out abandoned mansion, he does, sees ghosts of dead homeless people, gets the hell scared out of him, catches a sickness called “The Fright” which essentially means he goes bald from freaking out. Ghosts visit him in a dream or possibly not a dream, I haven’t seen the movie in over 10 years, shut up.
Anyway, ghosts give him a recipe for a way to grow his hair back, it’s got gross stuff in it and also peanut butter. Mike tries to make it, it gets flung out for some reason or another, he makes it again but ignores the ghost’s warning of not adding too much peanut butter and then there’s a bunch of stuff with his hair growing too long too fast, getting abducted by his fired art teacher who’s all BOO IMAGINATION, blah blah blah, magic paintbrushes made from Mike’s hair. blah blah.
There’s also some pubic hair that won’t stop growing but I don’t remember the particulars and I don’t really want to try and search them out in case it was a traumatizing memory I blocked out for good reason.
This movie weird-ed me out as a kid, so naturally I watched it a lot until the next obsession came along. I remember it really creeping me out and also resulting in my making random disgusting concoctions just because. Here’s the trailer, but don’t believe it’s happy lies. This movie was scary as a kid and as an adult, (though I have only watched some clips on youtube just now to refresh my memory) it’s thoroughly fucked up.
http://youtu.be/I2Cm4Cy3rxs
3. Gargoyles (a/k/a LETS GET SOME 90′s TELEVISION UP IN THIS BITCH!)
Yay Demona! BOO ELISA, you wench!
Oh Gargoyles. I watched this show religiously as a kid and I blame this show for the reason I became BFFs with Shakespeare as I grew up. The show was fantastic for introducing young impressionable minds to story lines and characters from the works of Shakespeare, including MacBeth and the 3 witches, Oberon and Titania and of course, Puck.
Like all good 90′s children’s shows, it was entertaining to children and secretly trying to ninja education into our malleable noggins.
Ah, I loved this show. It started my love of Shakespeare and continued a long saga of me routing for the anti-hero/heroine. In Labyrinth’s case, I routed for the Goblin King. In Gargoyle’s case, I was all for Demona. Oddly enough, the two characters have strangely similar hair styles.
Evil or not, this lady was badass.
I was such a nerd for this show. As a kid, I used to try to walk around on the front of my feet to emulate the gargoyles. I also wanted a pair of wings and the ability to fly, hell, I still want those things! Like all good kid’s shows, Gargoyles’ 30 min episodes can be easily condensed into 8 minute YouTube videos that give you the gist but are slightly funnier. Here’s one now!
4. Boy Meets World
You know it's a 90's show when the best friend and the teacher are in the family photo.
Ah Boy Meets World. The creme de la crop when it comes to 90′s kid shows. You can take Saved By The Bell and shove it, I’d choose Boy Meets World over it any day. It was sweet, funny, poignant and blessedly Screech free. I grew up with the show and it grew up with me. We watched Corey and Shawn get into mischief, Corey and Topanga fall in love, watched Minkus mysteriously disappear without explanation and watched Mr.Feeney be epicly Bostonian and not just a talking car.
The show was and remains funny. It’s also the fodder of another childhood crush, this time on Eric. Ahhhh, the start of my attraction to stupid men. Thanks 80′s and 90′s media, you’ve ruined my chances at love from the beginning. I see that now.
WHY do I find this face soooo attractive? WHY!?
In all seriousness, not many shows can last as long as Boy Meets World did without starting to suck. This show never sucked, some episodes may not have been as good as others, but there was always a wonderful sense of humour that carried everything. This show taught me a lot without me ever knowing it and part of the reason I’ll always love it is because of the characters and the lessons they taught me. Topanga taught me it was ok to be smart, a girl and stuck to your principles. Eric taught me the importance of a good heart and the appreciation of a little foolishness. Corey taught me it’s ok to be a bit neurotic, Shawn taught me its ok not to have money and Mr. Feeney taught me that having an upper class Bostonian accent makes you badass.
5. BUFFY!
Ok, not really a ‘kids’ thing I suppose, but I watched it as a kid so hows about you shut up.
I stab away ALL your complaints or protestations!
I don’t think I can put into words how much I loved and still love Buffy. It…it just isn’t possible. It was my favourite television show as a kid and I think it’s responsible for a lot of my sense of humour. The show is and always has been so freaking intelligent! You have a show full of wicked cool vampires and monsters and metaphor and symbolism and as early as season three you get a Waiting For Godot reference! (For those of you who don’t know, Waiting For Godot is a play, in it, Godot never shows up)
Part of the reason I loved and always will love this show is not just the humour and the strong female characters ( I could go on about that for ages but I won’t because it’s been done to death…..heh heh….get it? A show about vampire slaying and I said its been done to…ok nevermind) but I love that the villians were often funny! Despite being creatures and monsters of myth and legend, Buffy boasts some of the best villains of all time because they are more than just EVIL.
They’re evil and loving it or evil and insecure or any other combination you can think of. I think that was a great thing for me to see as a kid, because life doesn’t go around pointing out who’s a villain by making them a monster, they come in all shapes and sizes and knowing that bad people don’t JUST act bad is a good lesson.
Also, girl crush again! I had the biggest crush of all time on Spike. Who didn’t? He was badass, British and hillarious. A stark contrast to the moody pathetic blah blah blah ness of Angel, whom I never liked. Probably because the sulking and being mysterious struck me as annoying rather than appealing.
Stupid sexy vampire.
It’s probably part of my crush on Spike that got me into British Punk from the 70′s, god knows my parent’s don’t like it. Also, I clearly have/had a thing for blonde Brits who wear leather and don’t play by the rules…damn stereotypical girl attractions! Still….mmmmmmmmm *drools*
Yep, out of all the media I ever watches as a kid, these are the five that stick in my head and probably shaped me the most. Blame them! I could and maybe should have add The Nightmare Before Christmas, but ever since it was taken over by 16 year old Emo kids, I’ve tried to distance myself. Even though I still love it and occasionally dance around singing the Oogie Boogie song.
There’s probably a lot more I could add to this list…I could have added Mr. Dressup, but what Canadian kid DIDN’T grow up with him? I mean, growing up without watching Mr.Dressup in Canada is pretty much proof your parents didn’t love you. PROOF!
P.S. YES my parents loved me, that’s not why I’m like this. Shut up.
Merry Everything, Bitches! And a Happy New Year!
It’s that time again boys and girls!
The time when the holidays have jingled their bells in your face, spun you ’round like a dreidel and insert-witty-reference-to-all-other-belief-systems-here. Now that the holidays are ending/over/starting, it’s time to start looking to the future. What’s in the future, you ask? What do I look like? A crystal ball? I have no freaking idea. You know, I’m getting pretty sick of you expecting me to know EVERYTHING. Maybe this is why your father left! Uh….I mean, New Years. The…the thing in the future. It…it’s New Years.
New Years is perhaps, the most magical and splendiforous time of the year. It’s part of that magical liminal time when we can say “That guy I accidentally hit with my SUV is in the past now, I can look forward to a future filled with puppies that can shoot lasers out of their eyes!” or, you know, whatever suits your situation. My point is that New Years is when we can safely pretend that the past year and its emotional baggage aren’t going to follow us like a stalker to the next year. We can look at that pristine, untouched new year and say “I’m so not gonna screw this up!”
With this in mind, I thought it would be a good time to make some new New Years Resolutions. BUT, unlike others who like to set the bar too high for themselves and pave the way for failure with gold plated pavement, I like to set the bar to a place I can sit at and drink from it. So here is my list of totally achievable resolutions.
Kricket’s List of Totally-Reasonable-And-Most-Likely-Achievable New Years Resolutions
1. Spend the first two weeks of the year in Canada
This should be super easy because I’m already IN Canada and my flight back to Ireland is on the 14th of January.
2. Buy some socks, for you are running out.
Practical AND realistic in terms of goals.
3. Do some more travelling this semester: seriously, last semester you left Dublin once.
Already have a trip to Bruges and a trip to Madrid booked. So, this goal is practically achieved all ready.
4. Improve fingerpicking on the guitar
At this point, I could improve my finger-picking simply by attempting it
5. Get grades in uni that don’t make your parents question why they are supporting your ass in its insane endevours
This has been the goal for the last four years, it’s not gonna change now. (Mind you, it’s always been achieved)
6. Get your OSAP sorted out and resist hunting down the idiot who screwed it up in the first place and pummeling them with a hockey stick.
This goal is WAY harder than it might seem.
7. Try to add some extra exercise to your week.
Does walking to campus more days than last semester count? Because if so, this will be a cake walk….mmmmmm cake.
8. Try to eat more veggies and less carbs.
BUT THEY’RE SOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD and vegetables are boring!
9. Try to keep the blog regular.
*snicker* Regular….*insert poo joke here*
10. Do not go insane while waiting for the new Dr. Who episodes.
I promise nothing.
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Well, those are my goals for 2012. Oh yeah, there is one other I forgot to mention. Goal #11: Don’t Die. Normally this is just a unwritten rule for life, but you know, with 2012 coming and all, it helps to be a little more on top of things than usual. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Forever Yours…in your pants
Hello Internet Lovelies!
Now, as you may know about me, or maybe not, I don’t know…how much do you know about me? Are you that person who’s been stalking outside my window at night?! Anyway, the point is, I hate authority. Not all authority, but most.
And sometimes, authority presents itself in the form of norms. Norms act as the social or cultural authority that tells us things like, the proper way to greet each other is to say hello instead of lightly slapping our own faces and saying BING!
Speaking of norms, you know what norm is REALLY stupid? The one where some crappy popstar has the #1 single at Christmas in the UK. So why don’t we change this norm into an abnorm!
Have you heard Forever Yours? It’s a song by Alex Day and it’s great on a couple of different levels, which I will explain in a bit.
Alex Day making a completely normal face
In case you live in a cave or a part of the internet that doesn’t have enough awesome, I’ve put the music video for Forever Yours below this text.
Alright, now on to the explanation of the awesomeness of this song. Not only are the lyrics clever and the tune catchy, the video is brilliant and the proceeds from the purchase of this song go to charity. Why support the Biebs for being the Biebs when you can support a random 22 year old British guy by donating to charity and listening to an awesome song? If that’s not enough to convince you, I’ve also compiled a list of reasons to purchase this song.
Why You Should Purchase Forever Yours on iTunes
(ESPECIALLY if you are in the UK but also if you’re not)
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You’ll be helping to make a young man’s dream (of having a #1 UK song for Christmas) come true! How cool is it to make dreams come true?! And you don’t even have to be magic or take your clothes off to make this happen!
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The proceeds go to charity. CHARITY! And not some go-go dancer (those still exist, yeah?) named Charity, but to an actual organization that helps people type charity. What, that’s not good enough for you? You’re a monster! I’m judging you. Judging.
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The music video contains superheros, zombies and pure liquified audio awesomeness.
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There are 12 different versions! So you can do a whole 12 days of Christmas thing by purchasing each version and giving a different version to your true love, every day! This is way more earth friendly than giving a bunch of birds, rings and people. I mean, you shouldn’t even be able to BUY people anymore and if you can you shouldn’t because slavery is wrong. If you don’t buy this song, you’re practically waving a YAY SLAVERY flag. SHAME ON YOU!
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I’ll love you forever. Forever. *flutters eyelashes in an attempt to make that sentence sound more sexy than creepy*
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The last and perhaps most import reason you should buy this song is this: It is a testament to the power of the individual. The success of this song proves that you don’t need loads of money or a big brand corporation to produce something wonderful and creative. All you really need are friends and platform and most of us are lucky enough to have both of those things. This song stands as proof that you don’t need to be on X Factor or any other type of so called ‘reality’ or ‘talent’ show to make a name for yourself. It highlights the difference between fame and art; you don’t need one to have the other.
Way To Convince People/Robots/sentient inanimate objects with money To Purchase Forever Yours
STEP ONE: Make them listen to the song
This can be accomplished by simply blaring the song at the maximum volume your speakers allow or by singing it everywhere you go.
STEP TWO:
Threaten to hold your breath until someone buys it in one version or anotherSTEP THREE:
Tell everyone you know about it that it’s for charity and that if the don’t buy it that makes them a grinch, a scrooge, a Daddy Warbucks from the beginning of Annie before he was cool and loving, back when he was grumpy and sexistSTEP FOUR: Humiliate whoever you happen to be with until they agree to purchase the song
This can be accomplished easily depending on how easily embarrassed the person with you is. I generally start with being ‘possessed’ by ghost ducks from the spirit world and working my way up to a mixture of insanity that Father Jack, Jim Carrey and Robin Williams would be both proud and terrified of.
STEP FIVE:
Seriously? The first four steps haven’t worked? What the hell is wrong with the person you’re dealing with? Are they dead inside? Are they a dalek? If they’re a dalek you should run like hell and call the Doctor. Not A Doctor, THE Doctor.STEP SIX:
If one or all of the above methods have been employed, chances are you’ve had someone purchase Forever Yours. Be proud of yourself, have a cookie and bask in your success. But be careful, overexposure to success can result in big pigheadedness and then you become Preston and walk off Never Mind the Buzzcocks because you secretly wish you were Simon Amstell.
I highly encourage everyone to at least listen to the song if not to purchase it on iTunes. I’m not saying that if you don’t that we aren’t friends anymore, I’m just saying that if you don’t there’s a chance you’re dead inside.
I’ve been drafted! Also, I failed and there was this other thing….
Hello internet friends!
As you may or may not remember, I was partaking in the giant NaNoWriMo endeavor which ended yesterday. There’s good news and bad news. Good news, we’re not all going to die in a fiery plane crash. Bad news, I failed to win. Yeah, the 50k mark was not something I could manage. I am deeply shamed. Due to college work, sleep deprivation and life in general, I was forced to stop at the 35k mark. 15k behind where I was assuposed to be.
I'm a FAILURE!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, now that I’ve told you all about what a horrible failure I am. On to happier news. I’ve cleaned my room…though some wouldn’t see it that way.
*turns on Skype and calls Mum*
Mum: Hi Kricket!
Me: Hi Mum! Guess what! I cleaned my room! *turns laptop to view entire room* Look how clean the floor is!
Mum: What’s all the stuff on your bed?
Me: Laundry, clothing, books, papers, bras, you know, all the stuff that was on the floor.
Mum: I don’t think it counts as cleaning your room if you just put everything on your bed.
Me: But look how CLEAN the floor is! *points laptop at ground*
Mum: Yeah, I-what on your floor?
Me: That? *squints* Dried up leaves from outside.
Mum: I thought you said the floor was clean.
Me: It is! Look at how there’s no stuff on it! *emphatically points at the floor*
Mum: Yes, but you haven’t vacuumed and all the stuff that was on the floor is on your bed. What are you going to do when you need to sleep?
Me: Take the stuff off my bed.
Mum: But then it’ll be exactly where it was before. *levels Mom glare at strength 5*
Me: No it won’t! I’m hardly going to methodically put it exactly back where it was, I’ll just toss it on the floor.
Mum: *sighs* That was sort of my point.
Me: *huff*Are you proud of me for cleaning my room or what?
Mum: *laughs incredulously* You’re 22, I hardly think you need me to praise you for cleaning your room; which, incidentally, you didn’t really do.
Me: *look of massive shock* WHAT?! Have you SEEN my floor?!
Mum: Several times.
Me: It’s so CLEAN! Look! There’s NO obstacles from my desk to my doorway. *points laptop*
Mum: What are those bags sitting by the door?
Me: Recycling.
Mum: Why aren’t then in the recycling bin, then?
Me: Mum, I cleaned my room, I didn’t take out the recycling. How much time do you think I have on my hands on a daily basis.
Mum: Too much, generally.
Me: I demand you praise me for cleaning my room.
Mum: Clean it and maybe I will.
Me: It IS clean! *thrusts laptop at the floor*
Mum: Are you just going to point the laptop at the floor until I give up?
Me: Look. At. My. FLOOR!
Mum: *sigh* It’s very clean, Kricket. I’m proud of you!
Me: *returns laptop to desk and does a muppet arm dance (you know how you basically just flail your arms?)* YAAAAAAY!
Mum: You’re a strange girl.
Me: Yeah, but my floor is so clean!
Mum: *hits end call button*
Me: Mommy?
So yeah, clean room, that’s the other big news in my life recently, which is sort of sad when you think about it. Oh wait, it’s not sad. You know WHY?
IT HAS HAPPENED!
I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking ‘What happened’? Only the best thing ever! I got my letter!
A letter? You ask, scratching your noggin in befuddlement.
Not just any letter! THE letter! I tell you.
A Pottermore invitation? You guess.
BETTER! I say, looking around deviously.
YOU GOT A LETTER FROM HOGWARTS? You squeal.
Screw Hogwarts! Better than Hogwarts! I say.
Then, what?! You ask, because you run out of ideas quickly.
I got drafted! I’m in the Nermiarmy now!
If you don’t know what the Nermiarmy is you will…soon….sooon….soon.
Consciousness, how I loathe thee.
What up, bitches?! Was that inappropriate? Probably, but I’m going to go with it. Soooooooo as you may or may not know, I have a little problem with sleeping. I mean, not a problem with it in a ‘Hey, I got a problem with you. Big woop, wanna fighta bout it?’ but in a ‘I’m not good at it’ way. I try to be good at sleeping but I’m not. I suffer from insomnia a lot and when it’s not that it’s sleep apnea. Currently I’m having massive sleep problems due to stress caused by college. Also, I have eated far too many cookies. Wait, eated? I meant eaten. Ah well, no sense backspacing it. ONWARD!
One of the few, rarely discussed, benefits of sleep problems and too many cookies is that it allows to all the dizzy stupid feelings you get when you’re drunk, without you actually having to be drunk. It’s like drunk without spending money or getting a hangover.
So here’s my list of sleep deprived pontification things:
- Pillow shopping is like, the hardest thing to do because there’s no way to test out the merchandise. I mean, you can try it on a bed in the store but it’s different from sleeping on it for a week and then discovering it flattened out and now you need another pillow. Pillow buying is a slipperly slope, I can’t tell you how many pillows I’ve bought trying to find the right one…I mean there have been at least five. Somehow the old disgusting pillows my Mum has are way better than the brand new ones, I don’t know how she does that but I’m going to go ahead and assume witchcraft.
THIS is what I need to counter act both insomnia and bone-searing loneliness!
- Grocery shopping is really inconvenient when you don’t have a car and no busses go to the shop you want to go to and you have to walk. I mean, exercise is great but I don’t want to exercise in the process of getting food. That’s just weird, it’s like working out before you get ice cream…that’s not really a comparison, it’s really just more of what it actually is. The point is, people who exercise before they eat on purpose are punk ass bitches.
UNACCEPTABLE!! Incidentally, this comes from the tublr kyrarunningiwthfood.tumblr.com
- Socks are really irritating. They have their uses (foot covering, puppet…that’s it really) but when it comes down to it, they get full of holes and you need new ones and it sucks because why do you want to spend money on socks when you could use the money for cool shit? You don’t, that’s what.
Any and all Dr.Who related Socks are OF COURSE exempted from the "Socks are Stupid" classification.
- Numbers are hard. I know I’m not using them right now but…still. Math in general is just awful. I mean, I like knowing how much money I’m saving when something is on sale but aside from financial and shopping purposes, math is awful.
I'm not a teenager anymore, but I still think like one. I approve!
- Pj’s are a weird concept. We change out of one pair of clothes into another for the sole purpose of sleeping. That’s ridiculous! I get why we don’t sleep in the clothes we were in all day, that’s kind of gross but why not sleep naked? I mean, if the fire alarm goes off, it’s awkward but you could just have a robe. Why sleep in clothes, it’s just more laundry and laundry is awful, just buy a robe in case of fire and sleep nude.
There's at least three things wrong with this photo. 1) It propagates the "Hot Asian" stereotype 2) Ducky footy pajamas are for little kids and therefore this encourages pedophiles 3) I want a pair of these now!
- Uuuuuuuuugh, too many cookies makes my tummy hurt. I’m actually sort of nauseous at this point. You know how when, you feel like you have to puke, you do anything you can to avoid it, like it’s the worst thing ever? Maybe it’s just me, but if I have the urge to vomit, I would do almost anything to make sure vomit doesn’t happen. It’s like I’m scared of it, even though I’m not really scared of it, but I guess I kind of am because the feeling you’re going to puke followed by the actual vomiting is like the worst ever and during those moments, I’d give anything to stop, but afterwards (unless I have the flu) it’s like “Hey! I feel WAY better. Hurrah!” Anatomy is weird.
I have clearly made a bad life choice today.
OH and before I forget. In regards to NaNoWriMo. I was 2 days behind, then 3 days behind, then I caught up and was only 1 day behind but I didn’t have time or creative energy to write today so now I’m 2 days behind again. Will I make it to 50k words by the end of this month? Not if I eat any more effing cookies. Seriously guys, I don’t know what I’ve done to myself. Maybe the impending food coma will help me sleep.
This kid gets a paper hat, a sword AND the ability to sleep? You lucky little bastard.
